7 mistakes that 99% of women make. You constantly read moralizing

In this life, no one is perfect: neither men nor women. But there are a few common mistakes, according to many psychologists, that almost every woman makes.

It's no secret that every second woman loves to "go too far" in everything. Many female representatives think: why do they not have a relationship, or why do they constantly quarrel with a partner? As it turned out, the answer lies on the surface, because almost all problems are built from 7 mistakes that 99% of women make:

1. A large number of moralizing

Instead of calmly explaining something or listening to her partner, the woman begins to talk incessantly. And besides talking, she begins to teach how to do it right and how not to. A woman can read moralizing at least all day long, and it doesn’t matter if she is cleaning at that moment, or driving with a man in a car. She talks and talks even when her partner has long since left the room. And this is one of the biggest mistakes women make.

2. From extreme to extreme

Another common mistake. For women, everything is divided into black and white. They are thrown one way, then the other. And you never know where it will go. Now she is cheerful, gentle and smiles at all her 32, and in minutes she turns into a fury who is ready to sweep away everything in her path.

3. Constant claims

Most women will never be satisfied with anything. And this is another important mistake. Almost every representative of the weaker sex scolds her man, constantly expressing her dissatisfaction, no matter what he does. And he can not only say, but also throw something at him or pounce with his fists, which does not have a very good effect on relationships.

4. Lack of happiness

This is a problem for most of every woman. They raise their daughters already with such an attitude that a man will bring her happiness. And not from high feelings, but from something material. As a result, the girl at a young age gets the impression that a man owes her everything. And when she meets her partner, she begins to “ride” him and use his wallet, as if he were just an ATM with money. From all this, a woman, of course, does not feel the promised happiness, receiving only disappointment.

5. Lack of affection

Basically, this error comes with age. Indeed, in childhood, almost every girl is full of tenderness and affection. But what happens when they grow up? Why does it take so long to get a kind word or a gentle hug from her? The answer lies in distrust and isolation. After all, when a woman is deceived by another man, she closes for a long time. And before she can open up again and trust another, you need to spend a lot of time and effort. But this is no one's fault. Have you been thrown? So find the strength in yourself to move on and open up to something new. It will be easier for you, trust me. After all, you need to forgive and let go of the past without harboring resentment, disappointment and fears.

6. You don't let a man talk.

One of the important mistakes of almost every female representative is not to let a man speak out. Women tend to constantly and tirelessly talk about business and without. And the man at this moment only listens, opening his mouth, trying to insert a word, but nothing comes out. As a result, understatement accumulates inside your partner, which then turns into a huge quarrel, or the words remain hanging in the air, gradually moving you away from each other, which ultimately leads to an unpleasant parting.

7. You don't consider yourself beautiful.

A common mistake women make is they don't feel their beauty. Girls are always dissatisfied with something in themselves: either they are too fat, or their nose is big, or their teeth are not white enough, or their hair is not like that. And everyone has something they don't like. Due to a minor flaw, she considers herself ugly and unattractive. And as soon as you change something in yourself, for example, to lose weight, something else comes to replace it. And so on ad infinitum.

Women constantly fall into extremes - "always available" or "absolutely inaccessible." There are 2 points:

1. When a woman is available to her partner for intimacy, regardless of his behavior, she loses value both for herself and for her partner.

2. When a woman takes the position of a tough leader or "mother" in the family, sexual attraction to her disappears. Because in a man's head, "mom" and "sex" are two different things. “Mom” is for love, and for sex, you need to look for another woman.

A woman is a combination of a girl and a mother. Together, we get a calm, harmonious woman who knows how to be flexible.
Mom cannot be flexible, as she constantly worries about something and must be correct. And a girl can't be flexible just because she's stupid.

Mistake #3: Hitting a tiger with a slipper

A woman often tries to convey to a man that he does not correspond to her ideas. She constantly repeats statements such as:

You are lazy! How can? You never make money. When will you make a decision?

Bringing information to him from such a position will eventually make him a “cat” who does not want to come to her.

I have such an allegory when we take a tiger and beat it with a slipper every day. We tell him that he is not strong and not a tiger. I suggest women say phrases like

You know I'm sad. You know, I'm very upset because I explained to you how important this is for me, in the hope that you will understand me.

Thus, a woman gives a man responsibility for her condition. This is very important because all women expect responsibility. He is an absolutely comfortable creature who does not really like extra responsibility. And it is much easier for a representative of the strong half of humanity to make a woman feel comfortable than to be responsible for the fact that she is sad later.

Mistake #4: You don't realize what happiness is

And when a girl enters life, she does not know what a state of happiness is. She knows the status of fragmentary rewards for good grades, good behavior, or whatever.

And so she goes into life, not knowing what happiness is, and meets a man who says:

She takes him to her. 2-3 years pass, and she does not feel happiness. The main task of parents is to convey to their children what happiness is.

Mistake #5: You don't nurture affection in your kids.

My friend has a daughter who is 3 years old. When she approaches him, she immediately shows affection. By and large, nature shows a model of a girl's behavior.

Photo source: roundtable.co.uk

If a woman behaved like this all the time, then the man would have no chance of remaining indifferent. But where does it all disappear with age? Why, when you start to communicate with a girl, you have to wait so long for her to cling to you?

When women were children, they did it unconsciously. Why do they need to be taught this again? This is anxiety. Previous relationship experience. When a girl has been deceived three times, she begins to think:

What if he doesn't need it? Will he push me away?

When I cling to him, say a kind word, then he will have no way out to be bad. It's the same with our children.

First, you must always accept their feelings. If your daughter is crying, you should never tell her that she is crying because of nonsense. I must say that you would also cry in her place. You have to be patient. One of the tools is to let the child know that there is nothing wrong with him. Need to say:

In any situation, I am with you.

And you need to stop yourself from moralizing. A lot of people say:

I'm in every situation with you, but listen, when I was your age...

And it starts...

Mistake #6: You didn't teach a man how to talk

A man must learn to speak. When he doesn't talk, the woman feels unwanted. The problem is that they make plans alone and do not discuss them with a woman.

Photo source: megalove.com.ua

If he says:

Today I work in order to buy us a house in three years,

- then the woman will gladly support him. In the eyes of a man, if he lives with her, comes home and eats soup, then he loves her. But the woman does not understand this. Women ask:

How can I understand that he looks at me a little, comes late and sleeps in another room?

When I ask this question to men, they answer:

I'm with her! Everything is fine.

Women need to talk! How to convey to men that you need it?

The fact is that women see in detail. That is, they make up the whole picture from fragments. And men see the big picture. There is one good game. When your man asks you to do something, like asking you where his shirt is, or asking you to make tea, you tell him the following:

Three words that are important to me and I will tell you where your shirt is” or “5 kind words and you will have the best tea in the world.

A man really needs to be trained for some time to constantly say such words to you. Later he will use this tool on his own.

Mistake #7: You are not aware of your beauty

It is much more important for her that it is not her husband who will say something wonderful, but someone else will tell her husband about what a beautiful wife he has.

This is not a very healthy attitude, it needs to be eradicated. I believe that being beautiful is a job for a woman for the rest of her life. It doesn't matter how old she is. It doesn't matter who she works for. Under no circumstances should you launch yourself.

What mistakes do you know?

I believe that a woman builds relationships. Do you know why I don't do couples counseling? Because, as a rule, a man asks to prove that a woman is wrong. And he does not expect anything else from a psychologist. I believe that a man only reacts to a woman. He won't react to a psychologist like that. I work with women only because I firmly believe that when a woman changes, a man's attitude towards her changes.

In this article, 7 of the most common mistakes that I had to deal with.

Mistake #1: You read a lot of moralizing
The main mistake in a relationship is a lot of talk on the part of a woman. And it's not just chatter. This is when, instead of explaining the reason for her sadness, she says: “I will explain to you the right way! I know! You don’t know, you don’t at all ... ”She begins her moralizing, for example, in the car, at a moment when he can’t even get out of it. And he continues all the way to take out his brain on an insignificant topic. Then they come home, eat, go to bed, have sex, and in the morning everything repeats.

Mistake No. 2: You are thrown from one extreme to another
Women have another common mistake. They constantly fall into extremes - "always available" or "absolutely inaccessible." There are 2 points:

1. When a woman is available to her partner for intimacy, regardless of his behavior, she loses value both for herself and for her partner.

2. When a woman takes the position of a tough leader or "mother" in the family, sexual attraction to her disappears. Because in a man's head, "mom" and "sex" are two different things. "Mom" is for love, and for sex you need to look for another woman.

Woman is a combination of a girl and a mother. Together, we get a calm, harmonious woman who knows how to be flexible. Mom cannot be flexible, as she constantly worries about something and must be correct. And a girl can't be flexible just because she's stupid.

When a woman learns to feel herself, she understands what calm joy is. And learns to find the tools to come to this state.

Women are waiting for a man to come who will do something and it will be good. It won't be good. Because the need for love is a basic need. We can only fulfill basic needs on our own. And, if a woman does not know how to satisfy her basic needs on her own, discontent will grow. Although, it would seem, she is doing the right thing, and the man is doing what they write in the magazines. But she doesn't feel. And this is what causes people to break up.

Mistake #3: You hit a tiger with a slipper
A woman often tries to convey to a man that he does not correspond to her ideas. She constantly repeats statements such as: “You are lazy!”, “How much can you?”, “You never make money”, “When will you make a decision?”. And bringing information to him from such a position will eventually make him a “cat” who does not want to come to her.

I have such an allegory when we take a tiger and beat him with a slipper every day. We tell him that he is not strong and not a tiger. I invite women to say phrases such as "You know, I'm sad", "You know, I'm very upset because I explained to you how important this is for me, in the hope that you will understand me." Thus, a woman gives a man responsibility for her condition. It is very important. Because all women are waiting for responsibility. He is an absolutely comfortable creature who does not really like extra responsibility. And it is much easier for a representative of the strong half of humanity to make a woman feel comfortable than to be responsible for the fact that she is sad later.

Mistake #4: You don't realize what happiness is
I have been working for 15 years and for a long time did not understand why girls with completely different statuses, age, experience and upbringing make the same mistakes. And what did I understand? That the responsibility of parents is enormous. Parents should give their daughter the experience of feeling happy, by which she will later identify herself in society. For example, I was not taught to feel happiness. And when a girl enters life, she does not know what a state of happiness is. She knows the status of fragmentary rewards for good grades, good behavior, or whatever. And so she goes into life, not knowing what happiness is, and meets a man who says: “I am happiness!” She takes him to her. 2-3 years pass, and she does not feel happiness.

The main task of parents is to convey to their children what happiness is. And, if a woman brings up and cultivates in herself a feeling of calm joy, she solves two problems at once.

Mistake #5: You don't nurture affection in your kids.
My friend has a daughter who is 3 years old. When she approaches him, she immediately shows affection. By and large, nature shows a model of a girl's behavior. If a woman behaved like this all the time, then the man would have no chance of remaining indifferent. But where does all this disappear with age? Why, when you start to communicate with a girl, you have to wait so long for her to cling to you? When women were children, they did it unconsciously. Why do they need to be taught this again?

This is anxiety. Previous relationship experience. When the girl was deceived three times, she begins to think: “What if he doesn’t need it? Will he push me away?"

When I cling to him, say a kind word, then he will have no way out to be bad. It's the same with our children. First, you must always accept their feelings. If your daughter is crying, you should never tell her that she is crying because of nonsense. I must say that you would also cry in her place. You have to be patient. One of the tools is to let the child know that there is nothing wrong with him. You need to say: "In any situation, I am with you." And you need to stop yourself from moralizing. A lot of people say: “I am in any situation with you, but listen, when I was at your age ...” And it begins ...

Mistake #6: You don't let the man talk.
A man must learn to speak. When he doesn't talk, the woman feels unwanted. The problem is that they make plans alone and do not discuss them with a woman. If he says: “Today I work in order to buy us a house in three years,” then the woman will gladly support him. In the eyes of a man, if he lives with her, comes home and eats soup, then he loves her. But the woman does not understand this. Women ask: “How can I understand that he looks at me a little, comes late and sleeps in another room?” When I ask this question to men, they answer: “Well, I'm with her! Everything is fine". You need to talk to women. You need to say: “I'm tired. Prepare this dish for me." And she will be happy.

TO how to convey to men that you need it?

The fact is that women see in detail. That is, they make up the whole picture from fragments. And men see the big picture. When a woman does something and asks a man: “Well, how?”, An explosion occurs in his head. He thinks that if he says now and does not hit, there will be a scandal.

There is one good game. When your man asks you to do something, such as asking you where his shirt is, or asking you to make tea, you tell him the following: “Three important words for me, and I will tell you where your shirt is” or “5 affectionate words, and you will have the best tea in the world.” A man really needs to be trained for some time to constantly say such words to you. Later he will use this tool on his own.

Mistake #7: You are not aware of your beauty
Why is it that a woman, when she goes out, spends hours in front of a mirror and wants to look a little better for strangers, but does not find time to look good at home for her man? This is because the woman is worried about public opinion. Her man is already there. It is much more important for her that it is not her husband who will say something wonderful, but someone else will tell her husband about what a beautiful wife he has.

This is not a very healthy attitude, and it needs to be eradicated. I believe that being beautiful is a job for a woman for the rest of her life. It doesn't matter how old she is. It doesn't matter who she works for. Under no circumstances should you launch yourself.

Simple techniques for being happy:
Think: “What pleasure will I give myself today?”
Walk 4 kilometers a day on foot. It should not be “here 500 meters now, 500 meters later”. You need to walk 4 kilometers at once.
Drink water! Flush depression out of your body.
Say to yourself: “I approve of myself!” As often as possible.
In short: do what you love in the morning. And the day will start well.
And there is another good piece of advice: do nothing once a week. Nothing at all. You can’t make your bed, eat yogurt, go to the fitness room, and so on. This is a very important procedure.
Like many, I traveled to Tibet to find answers about happiness. Did not find. It was cold, hungry and scary. I was there for three weeks, and once a week I had the opportunity to ask a question to the sage monk. My secret to happiness is that there are no guarantees. The world is unstable. Everything can change at any moment. And if I don’t take the maximum today, then tomorrow I may regret it.

There is such a myth that people fall in love at first sight and their love lasts forever. However, no one builds houses like this, no one gets a profession like that, and no one recovers like that.

Psychologist Anna Iotko says:

In this article, 7 of the most common mistakes that I had to deal with.

Mistake #1: You read a lot of moralizing

pixabay photo

The main mistake in a relationship is a lot of talk on the part of a woman. And it's not just chatter. This is when, instead of explaining the reason for her sadness, she says: “I will explain to you the right way! I know! You don’t know, you don’t at all ... ”She begins her moralizing, for example, in the car, at a moment when he can’t even get out of it. And he continues all the way to take out his brain on an insignificant topic. Then they come home, eat, go to bed, have sex, and in the morning everything repeats.

Mistake No. 2: You are thrown from one extreme to another

pixabay photo

Women have another common mistake. They constantly fall into extremes - "always available" or "absolutely inaccessible." There are 2 points:

1. When a woman is available to her partner for intimacy, regardless of his behavior, she loses value both for herself and for her partner.

2. When a woman takes the position of a tough leader or "mother" in the family, sexual attraction to her disappears. Because in a man's head, "mom" and "sex" are two different things. "Mom" is for love, and for sex you need to look for another woman.

A woman is a combination of a girl and a mother. Together, we get a calm, harmonious woman who knows how to be flexible. Mom cannot be flexible, as she constantly worries about something and must be correct. And a girl can't be flexible just because she's stupid.

When a woman learns to feel herself, she understands what calm joy is. And learns to find the tools to come to this state.

Mistake #3: You hit a tiger with a slipper

pixabay photo

A woman often tries to convey to a man that he does not correspond to her ideas. She constantly repeats statements such as: “You are lazy!”, “How much can you?”, “You never make money”, “When will you make a decision?”. And bringing information to him from such a position will eventually make him a “cat” who does not want to come to her.

Thus, a woman gives a man responsibility for her condition. It is very important. Because all women are waiting for responsibility. He is an absolutely comfortable creature who does not really like extra responsibility. And it is much easier for a representative of the strong half of humanity to make a woman feel comfortable than to be responsible for the fact that she is sad later.

Mistake #4: You don't realize what happiness is

pixabay photo

I have been working for 15 years and for a long time did not understand why girls with completely different statuses, age, experience and upbringing make the same mistakes. And what did I understand? That the responsibility of parents is enormous. Parents should give their daughter the experience of feeling happy, by which she will later identify herself in society. For example, I was not taught to feel happiness. And when a girl enters life, she does not know what a state of happiness is.. She knows the status of fragmentary rewards for good grades, good behavior, or whatever. And so she goes into life, not knowing what happiness is, and meets a man who says: “I am happiness!” She takes him to her. 2-3 years pass, and she does not feel happiness.

The main task of parents is to convey to their children what happiness is. And, if a woman brings up and cultivates in herself a feeling of calm joy, she solves two problems at once.

Mistake #5: You don't nurture affection in your kids.

pixabay photo

My friend has a daughter who is 3 years old. When she approaches him, she immediately shows affection. By and large, nature shows a model of a girl's behavior. If a woman behaved like this all the time, then the man would have no chance of remaining indifferent. But where does all this disappear with age? Why, when you start to communicate with a girl, you have to wait so long for her to cling to you? When women were children, they did it unconsciously. Why do they need to be taught this again?

This is anxiety. Previous relationship experience. When the girl was deceived three times, she begins to think: “What if he doesn’t need it? Will he push me away?"

Mistake #6: You don't let the man talk.

pixabay photo

A man must learn to speak. When he doesn't talk, the woman feels unwanted. The problem is that they make plans alone and do not discuss them with a woman. If he says: “Today I work in order to buy us a house in three years,” then the woman will gladly support him. In the eyes of a man, if he lives with her, comes home and eats soup, then he loves her. But the woman does not understand this. Women ask: “How can I understand that he looks at me a little, comes late and sleeps in another room?” When I ask this question to men, they answer: “Well, I'm with her! Everything is fine". You need to talk to women. You need to say: “I'm tired. Prepare this dish for me." And she will be happy.

How to convey to men that you need it?

Mistake #7: You are not aware of your beauty

pixabay photo

Why is it that a woman, when she goes out, spends hours in front of a mirror and wants to look a little better for strangers, but does not find time to look good at home for her man? This is because the woman is worried about public opinion. Her man is already there. It is much more important for her that it is not her husband who will say something wonderful, but someone else will tell her husband about what a beautiful wife he has.

Simple techniques for being happy:

Think: “What pleasure will I give myself today?”
Walk 4 kilometers a day on foot. It should not be “here 500 meters now, 500 meters later”. You need to walk 4 kilometers at once.
Drink water! Flush depression out of your body.
Say to yourself: “I approve of myself!” As often as possible.
In short: do what you love in the morning. And the day will start well.
And there is another good piece of advice: do nothing once a week. Nothing at all. You can’t make your bed, eat yogurt, go to the fitness room, and so on. This is a very important procedure.

Like many, I traveled to Tibet to find answers about happiness. Did not find. It was cold, hungry and scary. I was there for three weeks, and once a week I had the opportunity to ask a question to the sage monk. My secret to happiness is that there are no guarantees. The world is unstable. Everything can change at any moment. And if I don’t take the maximum today, then tomorrow I may regret it.